Does any of this sound familiar?
- Meetings don’t start on time because one person is always late.
- Someone leaves the meeting anytime they aren’t getting their way.
- Disagreements devolve into personal attacks.
- A person says very little in the meeting, then afterward tells employees about the poor decisions made in the meeting.
- Productive discussions are interrupted with sarcastic remarks and passive aggressive comments.
If these counterproductive behaviors occur in your family’s business meetings, agreeing to a set of simple, consistent ground rules can create an environment of productivity and personal accountability. Think of them as rules that are common to any game, where the boundaries of the playing field are clearly marked and everyone can see when someone goes out of bounds.
10 Simple Ground Rules:
- Be on time.
- No walkouts. Everyone is expected to actively listen and participate.
- Stick to the topic. Going off topic can occur innocently or deliberately, and everyone needs to help the group stay on topic to ensure efficient, productive meetings.
- One person speaks at a time without interruption. Any speaker needs to be allowed to state their point clearly with all relevant information. If they have a habit of speaking without clarity, refer to the next rule.
- Be brief and concise. Don’t ramble. Expect everyone to come prepared with what they need to say, and to say it efficiently. Anyone can request a speaker to “summarize your point so far” or “summarize your point in one sentence.”
- No personal attacks or insults. As soon as comments become personal, the attacked individual is likely to get defensive and stay in that mindset for an extended period of time. All participants must stay focused on the topic. Personal comments or reminders of past mistakes are not acceptable.
- No sarcastic remarks about other participants, ideas or potential solutions. Sarcasm and passive aggressive comments are often cloaked insults dressed up as humorous remarks or backhanded compliments. They create distrust and distract from the main topic.
- Show mutual respect. No one can build respect by being disrespectful.
- No artificial harmony. Each person’s perspectives must be shared in the meeting. Choosing to stay silent when holding a different opinion or perspective creates a sense of artificial agreement. If it isn’t said in the meeting, it isn’t shared outside the meeting either.
- End with a summary of the agreed action steps. This not only clarifies decisions and what happens next, but also ensures that a path forward is established at the end of each discussion.
Stick to the rules
Meeting leaders can start with a basic list, present these rules to the group and ask for additional input. Then, number the final set of rules and post them in the meeting room for all to see. If anyone believes a rule is being broken, they can simply refer to the number, making it easier and more efficient to enforce.
The meeting’s leader is responsible for consistently enforcing the ground rules without exemption or favor.
Consider agreed-upon consequences for repeat offenders. For someone who is late without giving notice, for instance, the rule might be that they cannot speak in the meeting until twice the number of minutes that they were late has elapsed. On a second offense, they are required to bring doughnuts to the next meeting. On the third offense, it’s pizza for the entire staff — and acknowledging the reason it’s being provided. These types of consequences are personal, exact a price and exert positive peer pressure.
Anyone who doesn’t agree to the ground rules is not allowed to attend meetings.
Chronic offenders of one rule, or multiple rules, may be barred from future meetings for a set period. For the suspension to end, they must apologize to the entire group for their behavior and convince the group that the behavior will not recur. The group must vote unanimously before the offender can resume attendance.
Follow the rules and you’re sure to see a big improvement in your next family meeting.