One question has mentally lingered since I drove away from a highly successful farm a few months ago: Do farmers actually want to be happy?
On the surface, this operation had it all—growth, stability and success. But beneath that, I saw the same struggles I’ve encountered time and time again on the farm. I completely understand those struggles because they’re the same ones I face.
- Confusion and lack of clarity in business direction.
- Isolation, with no one available for authentic conversations about business or life.
- Powerlessness in the face of input suppliers, commodity markets.
- A constant lack of time.
I had to reach out and find a new tribe through a national peer group when the pain of isolation became too much. The insights, experiences and perspectives I gained from that group gave me clarity and a renewed sense of control over my life.
It made me wonder: Are we holding onto "the plight of the American farmer" as part of our identity. Would letting go of that story risk getting kicked out of the tribe? Maybe it’s easier to stay stuck in the story of struggle because thriving might alienate us from our communities, neighbors or fellow farmers.
These fears aren’t abstract. They are deeply personal. One customer’s story stuck with me—a poignant example of how isolation can take hold: "When I first came back home, I had a group of buddies, and we were all going to build our farms together. But as I became more successful than them, the phone calls stopped, and the invites disappeared."
This story isn’t unique. It highlights a deeper and universal fear—one rooted in human psychology.
I recently read an article in Psychology Today titled “The Thing We Fear More Than Death” that explained why our number one fear is public speaking: “When faced with standing up in front of a group, we break into a sweat because we are afraid of rejection. And at a primal level, the fear is so great because we are not merely afraid of being embarrassed or judged; we are afraid of being rejected from the social group, excluded, and left to defend ourselves all on our own.”
This primal fear of being excluded doesn’t just apply to public speaking. It shows up in other ways, like resisting change or stepping outside our comfort zones. For farmers, it might feel like thriving risks rejection from the tribe we’ve relied on for generations.
Changing tribes can be healthy
But what if we could rewrite that story?
Growth and progress don’t have to mean leaving the tribe behind. They can mean finding a new one—a community of like-minded individuals who celebrate resilience and innovation. The solutions to confusion, isolation and powerlessness exist. They’re simpler than you might think, and they work faster than expected.
It starts with one small step: Take 30 minutes and write down your thoughts about how it feels to be confused, isolated and powerless. There’s power in putting those feelings into words and acknowledging them. By getting them out into the universe, you take the first step toward addressing them.
Thriving doesn’t mean rejection. It means connection on a deeper level. It’s about building clarity in your business, creating a trusted network and reclaiming your time.
As farmers, we are more than stewards of the land. We’re stewards of the stories we tell ourselves. And the next chapter could be one of growth, fulfillment and belonging.