The secret to beginning transition planning isn’t in pushing for a solution, but in starting a conversation about the shared vision and family legacy.
Leading the process isn’t much different than herding livestock. I’m not here to suggest your family is livestock, but hear me out! Just like you wouldn’t rush a cow or swine herd through a gate, don’t rush your family into transition talks. Push too hard, too early, and good luck getting the process back on track.
Instead, ask for a small “yes” to simply meet and talk about the future at a set time. Say something like, “I’ve been thinking about the future of our farm and what the transition planning could look like for the success of the farm. I’d like to share my thoughts and hear yours. Could we set aside some time next week to talk?”
Notice anything? Make the conversation about the success of the farm — the farm as a legacy and a business. This is an important distinction because it’s not about the family members getting what they want; it’s about the success of the farm as a going concern.
You’re not asking for final decisions, just gauging openness to start. If the answer is “not yet,” don’t force it. Give it some time; then try again. The goal is to make the idea of talking feel manageable and safe.
Listen, then solve
When that first meeting happens, keep things light. Share your hopes and concerns, and then genuinely ask for others’ thoughts. For instance, say, “This is what’s on my mind, but I really want to hear your thoughts. What will need to happen for this farm to be successful 10 years from now? Twenty years from now?”
The purpose is to elicit actions based on what the other person wants.
Resist the urge to fix everything at once. You’re not there to brainstorm tactics or call the lawyer just yet. The first meeting is about getting everyone to speak up and feel heard. Keep the meeting casual. Don’t challenge other people’s ideas or put them on the spot. If someone isn’t ready to share, that’s OK. Moving at the group’s speed builds trust.
Build commitment
Don’t expect to have all the answers in one meeting. The most effective transition plans develop over several conversations, with each meeting building confidence and clarity. At the end of the first talk, agree on one thing: when to meet again.
Keep the momentum up by not letting more than three weeks pass between meetings. This keeps the process moving without overwhelming anyone. If there’s tension, step back and give it time — don’t push. But commit to another meeting. The process is a journey, not a race.
Practical steps
Follow these steps to begin the transition process:
- Ask for a future conversation, not an immediate solution.
- Keep the first meeting focused on listening. Ask open-ended questions. Let others share their vision for the success of the farm.
- Don’t try to solve every issue at once. Set a date for the next conversation.
- Once all perspectives are on the table, brainstorm options and ideas at a future meeting.
- If you hit a roadblock, bring in a trusted adviser to help guide the process and keep your family on track.
Remember, starting the conversation is the single biggest hurdle for most families. Once you clear it, you’ll find the road ahead a lot smoother — and your family and your farm will be stronger for it.